By Daisy Surjo Vergara, M.S., LMHC, RPT-S
We cannot deny that suicide is such an epidemic. It is the raging silent war that goes unnoticed, and as it should, there are some awareness movements in building community of support, and calls for better screening for emotional and mental health issues surrounding suicide. However, what about the survivors of suicide loss? We don’t hear so much about what to do when we are survive suicide or when you lost someone to suicide. As painful as it is to be reminded of the loss, survivors of suicide loss also need support to be able to move forward.
In honoring the International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day on November 23rd, I would like to reframe the day as a memorial day. Where we celebrate memories of those who suddenly left us because it can be especially difficult with holidays approaching. Here are some gentle reminders:
1. Self Care- taking the time to care of yourself is important. Paying attention to how you are feeling, especially when you are thinking of your special person. Recognizing your emotions will help you identify ways to cope. There is no correct way on how to grief, everyone grief differently. Know that you should not cope with your grief alone. Talk to someone, a professional, or even find a support group would go a long way in helping you cope.
2. Connect with others- connecting with others, and find a support group, especially with other survivors will leave you feel supported and that you are not alone. Avoid isolation. There are others who have the same experience. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is a good place to start. https://afsp.org/
3. Create new routine or keep the old one- if keeping the tradition or old routine is challenging instead of comforting, create a new one. Find new activities, or maybe consider traveling instead of staying home for the holidays.
4. Communicate your needs- one of the ways in finding support is to communicate your needs. Family members, friends, and community will try to help in ways that they think are helpful, however, they may need to be told what to do to be supportive.
5. Breathe. Just breathe. Take a break if you need to. You can excuse yourself and have some alone time. Do what feels right for you.
The purpose of this blog is to bring awareness to the survivors of suicide loss that there are support and resources available for survivors, and to learn ways in honoring your special person today. With holidays fast approaching, if you think that you may need to speak to a mental health professional, we, at Ohana Behavioral Health are here to help. We strive to create an environment of hope and healing. We’d like to support you in leading the life you wish to live. Give us a call at 425-686-9509 to see if we’d be a good fit.
Daisy Surjo Vergara, M.S., NCC, LMHC, RPT-S, is a therapist and director of Ohana Behavioral Health.
